The Story Behind Established

I shared the heart behind Established on the “About” page, but I ran out of room to tell you why I wanted to start this in the first place.

I was born & raised in a Christian home, so I had always heard the verses saying that "God loves me" and that I was "beautifully and wonderfully made". I always thought they were just cute sayings and never took them seriously.

Because of that, insecurity, comparison, and inadequacy became lead roles in my story.

I was feeling pretty confident in 8th grade (as confident as a middle school girl can be). I had just started taking my relationship with God seriously, and I began to get a better grip of who God was to me & who I was to God. However, by the time I entered high school, I felt like that wasn’t enough to overcome my insecurities and my desire to be accepted. Sure, God loved me, but it felt so distant that it wasn’t enough to satisfy me. I didn’t understand the gravity of His love and what that would mean to me. Throughout high school, I spent so much time searching for my identity in boys/friends/grades/leadership positions/you-name-it, and at the time it worked! It seemed like it was enough.

Throughout college I tried to do the same thing, except this time it backfired on me.

*Enter insecurity, comparison, and inadequacy, comin' in hot and ready to do damage

I had placed my identity in friends, so I didn’t know what to do when I didn’t have any or whenever friends would leave.

I had placed my identity in grades, so I didn’t know what to do when I was struggling in my classes.

I had placed my identity in leadership positions, so I didn’t know what to do when I applied and got rejected.

I had placed my identity in my relationship, so I didn’t know what to do when my boyfriend and I broke up.

Everything I identified myself with fell through, and I was left with was a daunting feeling of emptiness in my heart and a handful of insecurities.

*Enter God, who had been waiting patiently on the side, ready to welcome me with open arms

The only thing left I knew to do was turn to God’s Words. His Words were full of love and acceptance. I would half-heartedly proclaim them over myself, and I would keep saying them even when I didn't fully believe them. Soon I started to see those verses as "Truths" instead of cute sayings. My identity started to fix onto who He said I was, and there, I found freedom. Freedom from lies that I had believed my entire life, from insecurities I carried, from hurts and mistakes and thoughts that I let define me. I can’t promise you that all your insecurities and fears and doubts will go away overnight, but I can promise you that if you truly put your hope and your identity in the Lord, you will no longer be bound by those things. You will be equipped to answer every lie, every fear, every doubt. Your foundation will be unshakable. You will have a hope and a love stronger than anything life can throw at you.  

Finding my identity in the Lord has been a long, hard fight for me.

And now that I’ve found it, it’s still a fight to continue walking in that.

I started this because I wanted you to know that you’re not alone in this fight.

And I want to leave you with 3 truths that I wish I had believed sooner:

1) There is a God who loves you beyond measure. He loves you despite your flaws and despite your mistakes, and He loves you more than anyone can.

2) You can stop striving and looking everywhere for your identity. There is no striving with the Lord. He loves you as you are. No strings attached.

3) You are established in the Lord. And once you really grab hold of that, it will leave you so confident in the woman you are and in the woman He created you to be. It will change your life like it changed mine.

Ready to fight alongside you.

xoxo,

Sam