Listen, Honey: For All My Single Ladies

LISTEN, HONEY

Lessons from ladies who've been there.

Q: What is the best advice you can give to all the single ladies out there?

Wait for a man who pursues you the way you deserve to be pursued. Someone who cares about your feelings and let's you be you. Also, make sure to find yourself a man who won't judge you for always wanting pizza because that's a big part of life (at least for me). Don't change yourself to meet a guys expectations. If he doesn't accept you exactly how you are, there are plenty of great men who will love you just the way you are. 

- Maddie Klein; married for almost 2 years

Your man is out there! Look at single season as a sweet, sacred time. Get to know yourself and God in a deep way. It’s so crucial to know who you are as a person and have a firm relationship with God before giving yourself to someone else.

- Jadyn Winn; married for almost 3 years

Don’t settle. But at the same time... There is no “perfect” man. Just find the few things about a relationship that are most important to you and look for that.

- Jess Trout; married for 1 year

A lot of people tell you to work on yourself when you’re single, I didn’t really understand that until I got married and realized my past, present, and future now directly affect my spouse. My advice to single girls would be to figure out your weaknesses and work on them. Maybe it’s an addiction of some sort, maybe it’s comparison (that’s a huge one for me) or maybe it’s something in your past you haven’t truly come to terms with. When you get married ALL of your ugliness is exposed, so work on it now! Get into counseling or do exercises that help you to become more self-aware, that would have saved Jason and I both a lot of energy if we had focused on that more when we were single.

- Jessi Proffitt; married for 2 years

Love God, Know who you are in Christ, everything else falls into place.

- Silvia Alvarez; married for 13 years

Throw away all of the ideas you have of what your “perfect” guy should be like. Follow your gut and fall in love with his soul. Our bodies will change and become frail, but join your spirit to his spirit and your love with last forever.

- Trini Stitt; married for 17 years

Lean on and trust God in the waiting, because your man is TOTALLY worth it! I met my husband in college (which is still young compared to some others). But in middle and high school, it was hard to not settle for just dating any guy who was interested in me because I wanted a boyfriend. I mean, everyone else was doing it, right? Why shouldn't I have a boyfriend? I try not to regret anything now, but at times I did settle. I now look back and realize how silly it was of me to care so much then, when all along God had the perfect guy picked out and waiting for me all along.

- Taylor Bryant; married for 2 years

When John and I met, we realized that both our fathers had been married four times. Mine went on to be married a fifth time. My advice: don’t let the past determine your future. You can break the chain and do it differently.

- Diane Wheeler; married for almost 32 years

Live your life to the fullest and never settle because of the pressures the world puts on you!

- Charmaine Alexander; married for 16 years

Seek the Lord, seek the Lord, seek the Lord. He will forever and always be our source, our life, our provision. I have found in my short time being married that although life changes when you get married, life also changes when you graduate high school, graduate college, start your first job, have your first kid, etc. Life is full of change and yet the one constant and unchanging anchor remains Christ. As a married person, I am in the most intimate relationship I will ever have on earth. On earth, I am most known by husband, and yet I still have days of being misunderstood or lonely. The Lord alone is my one constant, my one source of life, my only provision. Marriage and relationships are simply another step along our walk of following the Lord. They can never be our answer to the aching depths of our hearts. The Lord must always be our first source!

- Hannah Sherrill; married for 1 and a half years

Enjoy the singleness. This is the only season in your life that you can focus on being you.

- Unesa Aure Magnaye; married for 24 years

Our culture tells us a lot about looking for specific qualities in a spouse, praying for your spouse, and even making lists of things to look for or you desire in a spouse. While that isn’t bad, I think as a single person, it’s more important to reflect on your own qualities. What kind of wife do you want to be? What kind of morals do you want to have? What kinds of things would you want your husband to say about you? What does being a wife or mother even mean to you? In reality, those questions are tough to answer and even tougher to live out. So spend your single time exploring that and so many other things about yourself!

- Andrea Hyre; married for a year and a half

Don’t marry just anyone! Wait for the right person.

- Lynne Wells; married for 27 years

Do not settle for someone who doesn’t represent Jesus to you.

- Kelly Bernadsky; married for 26 years

There is no Prince Charming. You must find your worth and validation in Christ. You and your future spouse are human and will make mistakes, but if you are both anchored in Christ you can weather the challenges.

- Nicole Lee; married for 7 years

There is a cliche that single people sometimes hate that "singleness is a gift." My best advice is to embrace the season of singleness. Don't spend your time yearning for attachment to the point that you don't relish and learn from the season you are in. Explore the world, explore your identity, figure out what makes your heart happy in all areas of life. Once you are settled with someone in a lifetime partnership, you can never get this season back, but it’s here for a reason.

- Rosemary Avance; married for 11 years

Wait for the godly guy. In the meantime enjoy your singleness! Surround yourself with friends who don’t complicate your life but truly bring life and friendship and joy into your life and you into yours. Let them help you find those areas in you that need smoothing out or redeemed, so you will be continually growing and becoming more of a whole, healthy woman.

- Andrea Spinardi; married for 27 years

Sit back and relax because the right person will come at the very least expected time and circumstances with the least expected person!

- Jenny Guillory; married for 7 and a half years

I waited but I did pray every day to God to help me find my knight.  I was already 24 years old and never had a boyfriend but I never doubted that one day he would come ....and I even told my family that I would marry at 25. And I did just three weeks after my birthday. Pray every day and leave it to God without a doubt to help you find your soulmate.

- Angela Mozaffar; married for 30 and a half years

Find someone that brings out the best of you. Someone who supports you and pushes you, and lets you do the same to them.

- Caroline Chandler; married for 5 years

Don't compromise on what you want in a husband. The Lord has the one for you already picked out. Listen to Him, He knows best. And most importantly, be yourself.

- Robyn Narragon; married for 27 years

Be honest with yourself. I remember for so many years, I tried to act like I didn’t care that I was single, but it was killing me inside because I wanted a relationship so badly! Eventually, I brought that to the Lord, and it gave my singleness so much more peace. I felt better because I wasn’t trying to hide anymore. And it gave me more time to enjoy my life and my friends!

- Kristen Pope; married for almost 2 years