Listen, Honey: Relationship Material

LISTEN, HONEY

Lessons from ladies who've been there.

Q: What is the most important thing someone should look for in a relationship?

Look for someone you can be yourself with and someone you can fully trust. Make sure that both of you can have a life outside of your relationship as well. Your guy should be able to see his friends and you should get to see yours without having conflict.

- Maddie Klein; married for almost 2 years

Someone who genuinely, wholeheartedly is striving to know Jesus and be more like Him every day. *Hint* You have to be doing what you’re looking for too! Because he is somewhere looking for that in you. 😉

- Jadyn Winn; married for almost 3 years

Truth and compromise

- Jess Trout; married for 1 year

Besides finding someone who encourages you spiritually, look for someone who will push you into healthy lifestyles and relationships. Jason is constantly pushing me to deepen my relationships with my family and close friends. We both have trustworthy people in our lives who we can turn to when we need some encouragement. I think it’s really important to look for someone who is confident enough in themselves to allow you to have deep relationships outside of the marriage. Marriage can actually be really lonely at times and when you isolate yourself from family and deep friends, it can be really destructive.

- Jessi Proffitt; married for 2 years

A God fearing Man, who loves his mother and respects women as equal

- Silvia Alvarez; married for 13 years

I believe that an intentional love is so important. Choose each other every single day. Open your heart to someone who knows your value and wants to love all of you; the good and the not so good.

- Trini Stitt; married for 17 years

Someone who makes you laugh and pushes you to be your best self!
#1. Laughter- because I truly believe laughing can make any situation better. It releases all of those "feel-good" hormones and reduces the stress hormones, which keeps you happier and healthier longer. Plus, laughing together is a simple but great way to connect.

#2. Someone who pushes you. Your significant other will know you better than any other person, even yourself at times. They will know what you are capable of, and they will be your number one cheerleader. Because of this, they shouldn't want you to settle, but should encourage and push you to become better every day.

- Taylor Bryant; married for 2 years

A friend. No matter the easy or hard days, life is sweeter when shared with a friend.

- Diane Wheeler; married for almost 32 years

Honesty

- Charmaine Alexander; married for 16 years

I am pretty straightforward in this area. If the person you are dating or thinking about dating has a genuine heart for the Lord and you have similar goals, similar interests, similar values then go for it! I don't think there is any magic recipe or any one specific thing, but I do believe that in any decision that we make in our lives, the Lord expects to make a wise choice. Marriage and relationships are another area of decision in our lives which we should be seeking counsel and using some God-given common sense and wisdom. For example, if your family isn't for it and you have a godly family, listen to WISE counsel! If the person doesn't exemplify a life that reflects Godly principals use common sense, ditch him! If you are dating someone and thinking about getting married and that person loves to travel and you hate spending money on traveling and would rather stay at home, it would be wise to pause and recognize your difference in values and in interests and consider the effects long term in a marriage. I have seen a handful of people my age already go through divorces, I can't help but wonder how the outcome of their situation may have been different if they had paused to consider the wisdom of their decision. Marriage and relationships aren't something we need magic fairy dust sprinkled on us by God to confirm our decision. It is another area of decision in our lives, another step in our walk with the Lord. Are you vetting your decision through the lens of wisdom?

- Hannah Sherrill; married for 1 and a half years

Commitment - that the person is committed to you no matter what.

- Unesa Aure Magnaye; married for 24 years

Honestly, they have to value the things you value and hold the same morals you do. If you hold Christian beliefs, they should too. If you value honesty, they should as well. Jon and I are incredibly* different people. But we have always agreed on the “big” stuff. While there are 1,000 things we bicker and disagree with about each other, the big things as they relate to commitment to one another, moral values, views of God, and even our future dreams are never really up for the topic of disagreement because we both hold the same ideals in those big-picture concepts.

- Andrea Hyre; married for a year and a half

Loves God more than you. Seeks to be like Jesus. Is head over heels in love with you.

- Lynne Wells; married for 27 years

Growing relationship with Jesus as your common ground.

- Kelly Bernadsky; married for 26 years

Someone who is actively pursuing a deeper relationship with the Father.

- Nicole Lee; married for 7 years

This is such a difficult question because there is no one thing! A relationship has to be a careful balance. But if you force me to choose, I would say "freedom to be who you really are." Your partner should respect and support who you are and what you want in life, without trying to mold you into someone you are not.

- Rosemary Avance; married for 11 years

A genuine heart that is willing to stay on the learning curve with keeping the heart filled with love, grace, and integrity.

- Andrea Spinardi; married for 27 years

Friendship

- Jenny Guillory; married for 7 and a half years

Communication

- Angela Mozaffar; married for 30 and a half years

Mutual respect

- Caroline Chandler; married for 5 years

Compatibility, vision and trust. And of course love.

- Robyn Narragon; married for 27 years

Progressive honesty. The key to success in a relationship is being able to speak truth about what you’re feeling or in situations in a PROGRESSIVE way, in a way that is helpful rather than harmful. Someone who has this quality, or is willing to develop it, will really make a relationship more enjoyable.

- Kristen Pope; married for almost 2 years