Listen, Honey: He Could Be The One

LISTEN, HONEY

Lessons from ladies who've been there.

Q: How did you know that he was the man you wanted to marry?

With Matt I knew instantly. He showed up 30 minutes early to our first date and I love a man with punctuality. Plus, he took me to Olive Garden and who doesn't love endless breadsticks and pasta?

Spending time with my family is one of the absolute most important things in my life and finding someone who understood that part of my life was crucial. Before Matt was even my boyfriend, he came to Tulsa on Christmas break and spent a whole evening with my entire family! Talk about jumping in head first. But the fact that he was so willing to do that for me and made an effort to get to know my family was a huge deal in my eyes.

From the very beginning, Matt went above and beyond to surprise me or make me feel special. He did this throughout our entire dating relationship and to this day still does those things. Plus, he has the BEST smile. That was an automatic bonus.

- Maddie Klein; married for almost 2 years

He was everything I had specifically prayed for AND MORE. I truly couldn’t imagine a life without him.

- Jadyn Winn; married for almost 3 years

He made me laugh and I wanted that in my life forever.

- Jess Trout; married for 1 year

I happened to go through a really hard time when we were dating. Jason consistently pointed me to Christ on a regular basis; but in the times I was most hurting, he would sit and pray with me for hours and that’s when I knew he was the man I wanted to spend the rest of my life with.

- Jessi Proffitt; married for 2 years

His love for his family and God.

- Silvia Alvarez; married for 13 years

The moment I met Will, I felt an instant acceptance. I could be myself and the thought of never seeing him again made me so sad.

- Trini Stitt; married for 17 years

I had spent some time thinking about the qualities I wanted in my husband before I met him. And then, when I did meet him and got to know him, it was clear. He quickly became my best friend, the person I wanted to share everything with, to laugh with, and to simply be around, not because he was my "boyfriend", but because of his personality. He wasn't someone that talked about God much, but you could see his relationship with Christ through the way he lived and treated people. He had qualities that I lacked, and I had qualities that he lacked. We were a good pair and balance for each other.

- Taylor Bryant; married for 2 years

We were friends for years (he is two years younger so I thought he was safe.) Then I went overseas the summer of 1984. Maybe it was the homesickness talking, or maybe it was the Holy Spirit, but in a hostel on a lake in Austria I wrote in my journal, “I am going to marry John Wheeler.”

- Diane Wheeler; married for almost 32 years

When we rekindled our friendship after 5 years.

- Charmaine Alexander; married for 16 years

Brandon and I had started dating pretty quickly after a previous relationship I was in had ended. One of the main reasons the previous relationship hadn't worked out was due to differences in the sense of "calling". I have never felt a strong calling on my life to a specific area of ministry or service, but have always held firmly to the belief that our lives are not our own, we were bought with a price, and my primary purpose here on earth is to serve and obey the Lord in whatever capacity he would lead me to. I never understood the amount of time people spend obsessing over their calling. The Lord calls us daily. Year to year, season to season, our "calling" will undoubtedly grow and change. I was confident that if the Lord lead me into teaching, pastoring, counseling, missions work, etc. that He would give me the grace to accomplish that task and obey Him in that season. I remember leaving the relationship thinking that I just wanted someone who was committed to obeying the Lord no matter what the Lord asked of him, and that what that person wanted with their dreams and future wasn't so big that it didn't leave any room for the Lord to move and direct as He wanted.

I was pretty skeptical when Brandon and I started talking, but I remember having this conversation in the car with Brandon fairly early in our relationship where he was sharing all the things he would like to do with his life, but he ended with saying that none of it really mattered that much as long as he was obeying and serving the Lord. Brandon shared that at the end of the day the desire of his heart was to follow the Lord wherever it lead him, and that it didn't matter too much what it looked like. I look back on that conversation, and I don't remember thinking anything about wanting to marry Brandon, but I remember thinking "Our hearts beat the same! That's all I want in someone."

I think I knew that relationships and marriage probably aren't always easy, but if I can be confident that the person I marry has a heart set on serving and obeying the Lord no matter the cost, that I could stake my life on that. We haven't been married long, but that continues to be something I love most about Brandon. His passions, aspirations, dreams, all fall subject in humble submission to the Lord.

- Hannah Sherrill; married for 1 and a half years

Because he would not give up on me.

- Unesa Aure Magnaye; married for 24 years

I don’t know that there was an exact moment that I knew I would marry Jon. I think it was more comprised of many little small moments that confirmed I knew he was someone I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. How he responded in times of crisis, his pursuit of me in the mundane times of dating, the things he saw in me and pulled out of me, but ultimately, his commitment and loyalty. I knew our marriage wouldn’t be perfect, but the moment I knew he was someone that would refuse to give up on me, refuse to give up on us, and refuse to give up on God, I knew he was the one for me.

- Andrea Hyre; married for a year and a half

He swept me off my feet. And when describing him to my mom she said he was the only person I had said “you are going to love him.”

- Lynne Wells; married for 27 years

He was kind - to everyone, not just me.

- Kelly Bernadsky; married for 26 years

God told me if he came back after we broke up then he was the one. He did.

- Nicole Lee; married for 7 years

We connected because we had similar pasts and experiences that other people couldn't really relate to. But I knew he was the person I wanted to be with because we had similar, but not exactly the same, views on everything from God and religion to social issues and family. I wanted someone who would continually challenge me, not be a mirror of me, and we both made each other think and grow in all areas. Still do!

- Rosemary Avance; married for 11 years

He was my best friend and I couldn’t imagine doing life without him.

- Andrea Spinardi; married for 27 years

My husband and I were a total opposite people with different interests and likes but we connected through humor and I knew he was the one when I find myself laughing my head off with the most nonsense jokes he makes.

- Jenny Guillory; married for 7 and a half years

We had a whirlwind relationship...he proposed after less than three months of dating. He’s tall and not bad looking at all. I believed him then, hence I said yes to him...30 years later I love him more than ever.

- Angela Mozaffar; married for 30 and a half years

I just knew. We complimented each other.

- Robyn Narragon; married for 27 years

Evan and I were friends for about 2 years before we started dating. From the very beginning, I could see he had character. He was such an honorable friend, who would tell the truth bravely, but with such genuine love. I knew I wanted to marry him when I saw this great character grow stronger and stronger as our relationship progressed. It’s still one of his attributes that I most admire in our marriage.

- Kristen Pope; married for almost 2 years