Listen, Honey: For Better or For Worse

LISTEN, HONEY

*Lessons from ladies who've been there.*

MADISON KLEIN

**married for almost 2 years**

Q1: What is the best love or marriage advice you have ever heard or received?

Learn to compromise. It can be super hard, especially when you're already set in your ways. But you have to remember, you [probably] love your spouse more than the thing you're about to fight over. Fighting is inevitable though. It will happen eventually and sometimes you just have to swallow your pride, apologize and move on even though that probably won't come easy (I still struggle with this after two years of marriage). Somethings just aren't worth fighting over (like picking up my husbands shoes in the living room everyday).

Alone time (without your spouse) is important too. Don't feel like just because you're married you can't do things without them.

Date nights are SO important. Just because you're married doesn't mean you can't date anymore. Dates are a great way to have some quality time together where you're not just sitting on the couch on your phone or watching tv. One of Matt and I's favorite budget friendly dates is called Chinese food date night. We order in Chinese, make a blanket pallet on our living room floor and eat out of takeout boxes and watch a movie from Redbox. It's cheap and so fun and gives us an intimate time to talk and spend good, quality time together.

You have to love someone the way they feel loved. Example: My husband LOVES to sing in the car. Like to every. single. song. on a four hour drive to Dallas. That's not something I enjoy, but I have to remind myself (sometime A LOT during those four hours...) that if I continuously tell him to stop, I'm not showing him his kind of love. It can be hard at times, but marriage is all about compromise and love, right?

Q2: What is your favorite thing about marriage?

Having someone to stay in on a Friday night and watch movies with is the best, especially since I'm a homebody! I love that I get to cook for someone almost every night, and [BONUS] Matt will eat whatever I cook even if it's not very good. It's just nice to always have someone on your team fighting with you and for you. Going to church and serving with Matt is one of my favorite things.

JADYN WINN

**married for almost 3 years**

Q1: What is the best love or marriage advice you have ever heard or received?

Don’t marry someone you can live with, marry the one you can’t live without. Sounds cheesy, but it’s so true.

Q2: What is your favorite thing about marriage?

Having a home together, being each other’s #1 people, daily hugs and kisses wherever whenever, being fully known and fully loved (no other human gets to truly do that), growing together even when it’s uncomfortable, praying together, learning to let God make me more like Him so I can love my husband better and be a better version of myself, snuggling while falling asleep.

Q1: What is the best love or marriage advice you have ever heard or received?

That if you have arguments occasionally that is a good thing.

Q2: What is your favorite thing about marriage?

We constantly support each other no matter what.

Q1: What is the best love or marriage advice you have ever heard or received?

When I was struggling with a lot of frustration in marriage, a wise woman told me, “work on turning your anger into grace for your husband”. That sounds like a simple mindset, but it can be so challenging when there is a deep hurt in the marriage. I began to pray for this kind of attitude and I started to realize that I was holding my husband to a total unrealistic standard (a standard I wasn’t even holding myself to). Sometimes it’s easy to forget that you’re married to another sinner, who have their own weaknesses and temptations. The key is being open and talking about those weaknesses on a regular basis (which is super hard to do). Ever since be started being more open with each other and share our weaknesses and temptations, I’m able to trade out my anger for grace.

Q2: What is your favorite thing about marriage?

My favorite thing is living life with my spouse as my best friend. That sounds really cheesy but there is something really remarkable about walking through all the highs and lows of life next to someone who intimately knows me and to have someone to laugh, rejoice, or cry with at all times.

SILVIA ALVAREZ

**married for 13 years**

Q1: What is the best love or marriage advice you have ever heard or received?

Be the person you want to marry.

Q2: What is your favorite thing about marriage?

Sleepovers with my best friend every night. A constant companion in all times - good and bad. Honest love.

Q1: What is the best love or marriage advice you have ever heard or received?

Don’t be too proud to apologize first.

Q2: What is your favorite thing about marriage?

Getting to spend every single day of my life with the one person that “gets me” more than anyone in the world and thinks I’m amazing when I don’t think I am.

Q1: What is the best love or marriage advice you have ever heard or received?

"Don't lose who you are in the relationship." This has been SO important to my husband and I, and I believe truly makes us more powerful as a team. In your relationship, make it a priority to keep some things just for yourself. Your friends, your hobbies, your alone time. Relationships are a balance. Have you ever had that friend that got a boyfriend and stopped talking to you? ...No one likes that friend. It's okay to want to spend time with your significant other and do things together, but keeping some things separate helps as a reminder that you are still valuable as an individual outside the relationship as well.

Q2: What is your favorite thing about marriage?

Living life together! It's fun having someone who knows every little thing about you, even down to your gross and bad habits. It's fun having someone to just do (and not do) things with, even if it just means car rides, grocery shopping, or binge-watching Netflix. Even the small things are more enjoyable with your best friend.

DIANE WHEELER

**married for almost 32 years**

Q1: What is the best love or marriage advice you have ever heard or received?

I think the best thing we were encouraged to do is be honest with a couple of friends when
marriage is hard. Our marriage is not as easy as some of our friends’ marriages. We are feisty, needy and broken. But I know talking helps me hear myself, which is often enough of a wake-up call. And having someone hear me out and not reject me, that can work a powerful healing which can then make me ready to keep on loving.
The hard things can become monsters in your head, whining at you that you are the only one who struggles. Trust me: that’s hogwash.

Q2: What is your favorite thing about marriage?

I grew up in a family where I didn’t really fit in. I never played team sports. When I married a John, I found a team, a family where I fit in perfectly. I came home.

CHARMAINE ALEXANDER

**married for 16 years**

Q1: What is the best love or marriage advice you have ever heard or received?

Never go to bed angry.

Q2: What is your favorite thing about marriage?

My favorite thing about marriage is knowing that the person I married is also my Best Friend and I can share anything with him!

HANNAH SHERRILL

**married for 1 and a half years**

Q1: What is the best love or marriage advice you have ever heard or received?

For all you girls who are young and dating, when I was young and dating myself and making oh so many mistakes, someone told me "Just be careful, plenty of guys will treat you nicely." That has stuck with me forever. Plenty of people do a really great job of treating you nicely. If that's the main reason you are dating someone, there has to be more than that.

In regards to marriage, my sweet Grandma, told me a little while ago "Hold on to your traditions loosely." That has already been something has caused me to have much more joy in times where family or childhood traditions just can't happen or look much different as you mold your lives together. The traditions don't really matter that much. Life changes rapidly, being together is much more important.

Q2: What is your favorite thing about marriage?

Brandon and I have so much fun together! I love that we can just goof off together. On a deeper level though, it is such a picture of God's goodness and grace in my life. Someone has committed to love me without condition for the rest of my life. It is a picture of Jesus, and a gift so undeserved!

UNESA AURE MAGNAYE

**married for 24 years**

Q1: What is the best love or marriage advice you have ever heard or received?

Be a whole person before entering a marriage, and don’t bring any expectations.

Q2: What is your favorite thing about marriage?

My favorite thing about marriage is that I have someone who will stick with through thick or thin.

ANDREA HYRE

**married for a year and a half**

Q1: What is the best love or marriage advice you have ever heard or received?

Date night. Even scheduled date night. Make time together a priority, and when life gets busy, it will still stay a priority. In fact, the priorities you make at the start of your marriage will typically be the ones you devote your time to throughout your marriage. So be intentional with those.

Q2: What is your favorite thing about marriage?

That it is real. It’s hard sometimes, and it’s messy. But while Jon can make me the most frustrated, he also makes me feel the most loved and adored. It’s the one place in my life that I am truly my authentic, real self. It’s my safe place, whether I feel good or bad. And that’s my favorite part.

Q1: What is the best love or marriage advice you have ever heard or received?

Communication is very important.

Q2: What is your favorite thing about marriage?

I am known but still loved! Companionship. When I’m weak there is someone else who is strong and vice versa.

KELLY BERNADSKY

**married for 26 years**

Q1: What is the best love or marriage advice you have ever heard or received?

Best I have heard is “run hard after Jesus and if someone keeps up, marry them.”

Q2: What is your favorite thing about marriage?

Everything! The depth of friendship and intimacy that is always available - in joy, sorrow, excitement, disappointment, normalcy, etc.

Q1: What is the best love or marriage advice you have ever heard or received?

Be complete in Christ first. If you are looking for someone to "complete" you or make you feel fulfilled, you are setting yourself up for heartache.

Q2: What is your favorite thing about marriage?

Having a built-in best friend - someone I can just be myself with whether we're hanging out watching TV or traveling someplace we've never been before. And it's nice to have someone who can run by the store on the way home if you need something.

ROSEMARY AVANCE

**married for 11 years**

Q1: What is the best love or marriage advice you have ever heard or received?

You hear a lot about marriage being about unity and two people becoming one, and it’s true that you must be unified in purpose and values. But it’s also important to remember that marriage is about two people walking together, side by side, toward common goals. It’s not about becoming the same person or being someone's "other half." Keep your identity, passions and hobbies and take time to nourish those things. If you become too enmeshed in someone else, it’s easy to lose sight of who you are and eventually feel resentment toward your partner.

Q2: What is your favorite thing about marriage?

He makes me coffee and eggs every day. Just kidding, that's not my favorite... but it's close. My favorite is probably just having someone I trust and love to do life with. Just the everyday mundane things: grocery shopping, playing Clue with our kids, washing dishes.

ANDREA SPINARDI

**married for 27 years**

Q1: What is the best love or marriage advice you have ever heard or received?

You control your emotions “switches”. Don’t be a blamer who blames the spouse for all your anger, loss of control, impatience, etc. Instead, ask the Lord why YOU flip those switches with a particular behavior. Start with you and the Lord to figure out what your issue is. Then communicate it in a way that you are taking ownership and needing their help to resolve it.

Q2: What is your favorite thing about marriage?

Doing life with my best friend.

JENNY GUILLORY

*married for 7 and a half years*

Q1: What is the best love or marriage advice you have ever heard or received?

Marriage is not to be taken lightly, when things get tougher, you must work as a team and come out stronger each and every single time.

Q2: What is your favorite thing about marriage?

Not necessarily marriage, I would rather say my favorite thing about a relationship is having someone to confide in, to lean on to, and to have a strong friendship.

ANGELA MOZAFFAR

**married for 30 and a half years**

Q1: What is the best love or marriage advice you have ever heard or received?

People are not perfect...we say or do things that can lead to marriage breakup. That’s why communication is a key factor in having a successful relationship. As long as you’re not in an abusive relationship, you must sort out your differences, to be okay with each other’s differences, to listen without interrupting and to support each other.

Q2: What is your favorite thing about marriage?

To be with a loving companion to share sorrows and joys with. And to grow that love by producing two wonderful sons.

CAROLINE CHANDLER

**married for 5 years**

Q1: What is the best love or marriage advice you have ever heard or received?

Relationships take hard work.

Q2: What is your favorite thing about marriage?

I have someone alongside me to take on the world. Whatever comes our way, I know we're in it together.

ROBYN NARRAGON

**married for 27 years**

Q1: What is the best love or marriage advice you have ever heard or received?

My parents always told me that marriage isn't always fun and games, it takes a lot of love and work to make it work. And it takes to make it work and lots of compromising and forgiving. My parents, made it 60 years and yes they put in a lot of love and hard work. Did it look pretty all the time? No, but it was worth it. Thank you mom and dad.

Q2: What is your favorite thing about marriage?

Partnership in life. Having raised amazing kids with the one I love. We started out as kids ourselves and grown into different seasons in life and seen different changes, I couldn't imagine doing it with anybody else than Craig.

KRISTEN POPE

**married for almost 2 years**

Q1: What is the best love or marriage advice you have ever heard or received?

If you wouldn’t marry the person exactly for who they are when you are going to be getting engaged, then you shouldn’t marry them. I’ve seen so many people struggle to try to change the person that they’re with, and that’s setting yourself for heartache and failure. That, and the clique saying is true, when you marry someone, you marry their family. So be committed to being a part of their family, in the good and the bad.

Q2: What is your favorite thing about marriage?

The peace that comes with being as fully known and fully loved by a person as possible. Marriage shows you just a glimpse of the immense and incredible grace and love that God has for us. The transformation that has happened in my heart from being forgiven and cared for over and over again by Evan is indescribable. And it has brought me to my knees in gratitude before our Heavenly Father, who loves us deeper and greater than any person in this earth ever could or ever would.