Listen, Honey: Just Haven't Met You Yet

LISTEN, HONEY

Lessons from ladies who've been there.

Q: Please write a short piece of encouragement for young women who are tired of waiting for the right guy to come along.

Don't rush into anything. Marriage will be infinitely better with someone you actually want to spend your life with. Crazy right? God has someone special picked out just for you and you will meet that special person in His timing. I know that's super hard to think about and honestly, it's not fun. Especially when those Save the Dates keep rolling in and piling up on your fridge. But just know that one day, you'll be the one sending the Save the Date and it will ALL be worth it. Settling isn't an option. Trust God and his timing and you will be so happy with the outcome.

- Maddie Klein; married for almost 2 years

Please wait!! I guarantee you, you’ll be glad you held out for a good man. You’ll be sorry for a long time if you rush into something you know is wrong. The man you marry will be there for your saddest and happiest moments in life. Make sure you marry someone you want there.

- Jadyn Winn; married for almost 3 years

Don’t rush. Goodness take your time! I truly believe you are finding out your true self in your 20s. Wait until that is done. Then as soon as you find that person where the inner you says, “I want to care for this person and remind him that he matters for the rest of my life”.... he’s the one.

- Jess Trout; married for 1 year

I got married at a young age, but I do remember the frustrating feeling of loneliness as I watched others around me find the right person quicker than I did. To those who are tired of waiting, my encouragement would be to stop trying so hard to find him... the second I stopped trying to find my husband is when he finally showed up. When I met Jason 6 years ago, I would have never guessed I would end up marrying him... my advice would be to stop letting your mind obsess on it. The right man will come, just give him some more time (maybe he’s just trying to clean up his act a little more before he meets you).

- Jessi Proffitt; married for 2 years

God Said, Put first the kingdom of God, and All things (right guy) will be added unto you. He will bring him to you stay God Focused.

- Silvia Alvarez; married for 13 years

Don’t settle! If it feels like it’s taking forever to find your prince it’s because neither of you is ready yet.
As a young person, I didn’t wait for God’s timing and I married Mr. Wrong (for me). I was broken hearted and it ended but I wasn’t surprised because I wasn’t loved the way God intended me to be loved. So, I listened to myself and threw away the ideas I had of who was “ right” for me and gave the complete opposite a chance and ended up finding true love. My soul fell in Crazy love with his soul and still is.

- Trini Stitt; married for 17 years

Stick it out! Girl- YOU ARE WORTH IT. Chances are, your guy is just as anxious and eager to meet you. Don't settle because you're lonely, because if he's not the right guy it's just going to end in more pain and heartbreak, and you more upset than you were before. Once you're married, you're married for life! Your single life is a precious time to really find who you are and what you value. Learn to love yourself, and I mean REALLY love yourself. Lean your relationships with your friends, family, and most importantly, Christ. Your man is worth the wait, and YOU are worth the wait. Don't give up.

- Taylor Bryant; married for 2 years

I spent one summer (1983? 1985?) going to someone’s wedding Every Single Weekend. Sometimes two in a weekend. I was in some of them, hid in the back pew for others. I always needed to use the restroom when the call came for all the single ladies to try for the bouquet. It was gut-wrenching.
All I can say is trust the process. It’s no guarantee of marriage. But that is never a guarantee. We have friends who are widows and widowers, friends who never married, and friends and family whose marriages ended in divorce. Life is hard and there are no guarantees. Sorry about that.
But! What you can do something about is who you are, how you invest your life, what becomes your priority. Don’t wait to get married to be your best self. And don’t be that best self to attract a spouse. Be your best self because that is who you were created to be, and if we are ever going to solve the confusing mess the world is, we need strong, interesting, kind, diligent, smart women to be themselves.
I would also encourage you to put on your thinking cap and figure out: is there something I can do now that would be harder or impossible when I am married? If so, do THAT.

- Diane Wheeler; married for almost 32 years

In life, everything happens for a reason. When you meet that special someone you will automatically know. But don't spend your time waiting for someone. Go out and enjoy life, surround yourself with people that you want to be with, and that special someone will be right there!

- Charmaine Alexander; married for 16 years

This is a hard one for me because I have several friends who are older than me and not married. I look at their lives and see in them such a godly example of how to embrace the season that God has given them. I think they would be much more qualified to answer this question than me, but I will take the example from their lives and use it as encouragement here.
I don't see them sulking, I don't see them waiting around with their heads hung low. Their heads are up high. They are pursuing the passions, callings, and desires the Lord has placed in their hearts. It is amazing to watch them be women who continue to take the aching parts of their heart to the Lord and don't allow the Christian circle of an idealistic life for a woman hold them back from pursuing things like becoming lawyers, doctors, high school English teachers, leaders in outreaches and after-school programs, starting overseas missions, etc. I admire them greatly! I know they all have a desire to get married, but they aren't sitting idly by waiting for a guy to round the corner. They have recognized that God has given them this special season to pour their time and devotion into. They are diligent in what God has given them to do now and are confident in his goodness to them in the future. I love that! I am secretly a little jealous sometimes as I see them pursue certain things, moving states, going overseas, all things that I could do but come with more complexity now as my decisions are weighed a member of a unit of two. What a beautiful gift God gives in our singleness. I wish I had embraced mine more when I had it. I'd follow the example of the women I mentioned above. They are truly women of great character and godliness!

- Hannah Sherrill; married for 1 and a half years

My advice is not to live waiting for the right guy. Be the right person first for the guy that the Lord will bring to you.

- Unesa Aure Magnaye; married for 24 years

It’s worth it the wait. But while you’re waiting, please go and live out your dreams and passions. I see too many young women who think marriage should be their first “step” or first goal or first passion. While it will happen in your life at some point, don’t wait to find yourself, pursue your dreams, and dare to explore new adventures. While being a wife is an adventure, I still crave my own dreams. I crave my own passions. I crave independence and spontaneity and adventure. And I still have all of those things, but I have them because I embraced them first before I became a wife. Pursue your dreams and your purpose, and you will be swept off your feet (at most likely the most inconvenient time) when suddenly you find someone else pursuing you as you are living out your truly, best life.

- Andrea Hyre; married for a year and a half

Better to be alone than with the wrong person! And if you let Jesus fill the void you aren’t really alone.

- Lynne Wells; married for 27 years

You were created with a distinct purpose and plan. God has already seen every moment of your life and He only wants the best for you. You are somebody with God and without anybody else. Don’t let loneliness in the day to day discourage you from giving your all and using your talents for God’s glory. Life changes so quickly, your days of waiting serve a purpose and God’s timing is never one minute early or one minute late.

- Kelly Bernadsky; married for 26 years

I didn't get married until I was 30, so don't give up hope. Pour yourself into the passion God has placed on your heart (you know the one!), seek a deeper relationship with the Father, find your tribe - one day you'll look up and The One will be there.

- Nicole Lee; married for 7 years

You are complete and whole. You are enough. Rest in that, and don't let your identity be confused with your relationship status.

- Rosemary Avance; married for 11 years

You have probably heard it said already but you really do want to be tired of waiting for the right guy than being tired of being married to the wrong guy. And talk or yell to the Lord about it. He can handle it. And you really can handle singleness with the Lord. He is a good Father who intimately knows who and what you need. He wants you to have good things even in this season of your life. Is your heart open to receive His gifts to you? Is your heart surrendered to His heart?

- Andrea Spinardi; married for 27 years

The right person will come when you least expect it and when he comes along, you will automatically know he's the one.

- Jenny Guillory; married for 7 and a half years

I can’t emphasize enough that God knows our needs and just ask HIM daily to help you find the right guy. Don’t get tired, go out and socialize at work, in your neighborhood, your place of worship or try the online dating. Let your family and friends know and they will help you find your man. My family knew and my sister arranged a blind date for me and my husband to be.

- Angela Mozaffar; married for 30 and a half years

It's frustrating when it feels like you're the only one who does not have someone to share your life with. But I have seen friends eventually find someone after what seemed like a long period of time. Everyone pursues relationships differently. I truly believe that there is someone out there for everyone. And it helps to have a good group of friends to rally behind you.

- Caroline Chandler; married for 5 years

I know, I know why listen to a 51-year-old woman who has been married for 27 years?  I guess I've been around the block a few times, so they say.  Putting it on paper that I'm 51 years makes me feel like I've been around more than a few blocks, if you know what I mean! Wow, time goes so fast!  I know you feel like, is God ever going to send "Him" my way? Or the questions of the revealing of who it is? I encourage you to do your best to wait on the Lord. His timing is best. In Jeremiah 29:11, it says the Lord has declared he has a plan for you, its a future with hope, prosperous and a future with no harm. It says right there, the future he has set for you is filled with hope and to do no harm. I encourage you to wait for his best, it will be so worth it. Here I am 51 years old, with the love of my life trying to encourage you to be patient for the one, the man of your dreams, and I'm wondering where has the time gone? Time goes very fast, and before you know it, the right guy will be right there.

- Robyn Narragon; married for 27 years

God gives us exactly what we NEED, usually not what we want. That is true love right there. Try to focus on the blessings in your life and lean into God on the hard days. The more gratitude I introduced into my life when I was single, the less pain I felt and I enjoyed a lot more of my life.

- Kristen Pope; married for almost 2 years